Expenses which are not allowable

And now a list of things you might think should be allowable, but aren’t. Among the expenses you cannot claim for are:

• Payment of wages to yourself.
• Your £2.40 a week NI contributions.
• Bribes.
• Payments in response to threats, blackmail or extortion.
• Fines.
• Membership fees for the gym. It may be important to your business that you keep fit but the Revenue take the view that it’s not wholly and exclusively for the business.
• Similarly you can’t claim for hairdressing, manicures, colonic irrigation or plastic surgery.
• Health insurance, accident insurance, income protection insurance or life insurance.
• Childcare and baby-sitters.
• Vibrators. My careful observations strongly suggest there is a personal benefit to their use.