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Jolyon K Jolyon
Jolyon was born in Bulawayo and educated in Edinburgh public library. At 19 he entered the family business and like his father and grandfather before him combined the calling of professional gigolo with the life of an itinerant Anglican curate.
The direction of his life was altered forever by the Vietnam War. While demonstrating outside the American Embassy in Paris he glimpsed, for the first time, the tragically beautiful French marine biologist who was destined to play such a profound part in his life when, a few seconds later, she reversed her 2CV and permanently severed his left leg below the knee. Apart from a brief court appearance they were fated never to meet again. Within weeks she entered a nunnery while he became a Chartered Accountant.
Jolyon lives quietly in a working windmill in South Devon. He spends his days specialising in personal tax, writing, indulging his Trumpton fantasies, and practising that thing where you lie with your head clamped between your lover’s thighs while wiggling your tongue around and getting friction burns on your ears, until she cries out “Oh God, Jolyon. Oh my God. YES!”, and hauls you up the bed by the hair demanding to be taken: NOW!
Jolyon is the principal author of TaxRelief4escorts and of his own misfortunes.
Escort, entrepreneur, pastry chef, and all round wise woman, Hattie Milliner has come a long way since her year group at the St Augustine of Hippo 6th Form College Weymouth voted her the girl most likely to become a Blue Peter presenter. All the way to Lyme Regis. Her headmaster’s more modest prediction that she was the pupil most likely to be found face down in a ditch was eventually disproved (to almost everybody’s relief) some three days after the 2010 General Election when her contemporary, and former headboy, Nobby Gaskett, having lost his deposit in the constituency of North Utsire, contrived to lose his life in a gully at the side of the A38 after a freak accident involving a bottle of Yellow Label Absinthe, a cigarette lighter and a bread lorry.
While trying her hand (and one or two other body parts) at supplying discreet personal services to discerning gentlemen Hattie spotted a gap in the market. With three other girls she co-founded Drizzles*, the only house in Dorset to specialise in water sports: “There may be sunshine outside, but inside it’s always pissing down.”
Hattie now runs a not unsuccessful mail order food business and manages the TaxRelief4escorts web site.
*Drizzles may be found in Monmouth Street, Lyme Regis, above the Halal wool shop. Or maybe not. Early closing day is Thursday.